Heads of the Class

We gathered with a group of friends and had as much of every dish as one could wish. I tried collard greens for the first time. They were prepared with some sort of shredded meat. The usual side dishes and appetizers riddled the tables and side tables. at least three cheese plates sat in front of the sofa. (Buffy and I provided one of them.) Sweet potatoes (or were they yams?), squash slices, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes (garlic and plain) a green bean casserole with french onions on top, a bean/meat dish, beer-bisquits, turkey, ham (made with apple cider I believe), stuffing, and gravy to pour over it all. Dessert was the usual set of delicious pies with "homemade" whipped cream, brownies, and a cheesecake that we were told to avoid. Those who brought it tasted it then assured us something had gone wrong. We all trusted them.

It was a group of English types--at intervals the discussion would alight on insufferably pompous issues including such: the importance of rhetorical terminology in an introductory composition class; the proper pronunciation of "often"; the heroic or non-heroic qualities of Beowulf; the pre-velar raising of the 'a' in "bag" in Minnesota dialect; the Seinfeld episode that best illustrated kairos; the distinctive characteristics of asiago and smoked gouda. Okay so we couldn't perform the whole time. At one point I heard someone who speaks French pronounce "Beaujolais" like "boo-zhelay." I don't know enough about French or wine to speak ill of this. It just surprised me.

Then the evening turned against us. And it revealed the limits of our type of intelligence. A drip was discovered. One drop every 3 seconds from the kitchen ceiling when it was first noticed. There were fourteen of us and no one knew what to do. A group of four would walk upstairs then come back down shrugging wide-eyed and cluelessly. No one knew how to shut off the main water supply. No one knew how to locate the source of the overflow/drip. At least 3 people at a time took turns standing staring with a gaping maw at the ceiling.

"Whadoowedo?"
"I-ownknow..."

Someone noticed a line in the ceiling leading up to the drip. "It's obviously started over here!" Everyone ran over there to gawk at this new discovery. Over at the drip a daring fellow touched the ceiling crying out "Hey! It's puffy. I don't think it's supposed to be puffy!" Everyone shuffled back and a few curious types reached up towards the ceiling. "Maybe we shouldn't touch it" another suggested. All paws withdrew immediately and muffled grunts indicated agreement.

We will have our PhDs one day. And until another ceiling leaks we'll do our best to act like the sheepskin says a lot about us.